This year’s Let’s Dance hasn’t had anything with quite the same impact as Robert Webb’s Flashdance from the last series, but it’s still been fairly entertaining.
Tonight’s finale includes, amongst others, Cheryl Fergison doing Vanilla Ice, the Grumpy Old Women doing Lady GaGa and Debra Stephenson doing Michael Jackson, but surely the favourite is Rufus Hound doing Cheryl Cole’s ‘Fight For This Love’, for the split trousers alone.
Your hosts are Claudia Winkleman (hooray) and Steve Jones (shrug) and it’s all for a good cause. While you’re waiting for Over the Shark Rainbow to start, there are worse ways you could spend a Saturday evening, and hey, it’s all for a good cause.
Let’s Dance for Sport Relief, BBC One, 7.00pm
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BBC One,
Let's Dance,
Sport Relief
The recent producer changes at EastEnders and Hollyoaks have got people on our forums talking about which characters in the soaps are essential and which are due the chop. Most people are agreed that new Hollyoaks producer Paul Marquess has made the correct decision in axing some of our least wanted characters, such as Spencer, Archie and the Valentines (and there is much speculation about the most grisly way some of these characters can be dispatched), but why stop there?
The Coronation Street thread has been busy with people suggesting names for a mass cull, including (obviously) Michelle, Kirk and Sean, whilst the EastEnders thread finds people clamouring for the exit of the terrible new yoof contingent who seem to have come straight from a “ghetto” version of Coming of Age, and the rather pointless Danny Mitchell.
Whilst it’s fun to talk about those we want to leave, there’s also been debate about who’s essential, with common consensus that EE needs the Brannings, Jacksons, Beales and Masoods, and Hollyoaks needs to keep at least some of the McQueens, Ste, Cindy, Steph and the Osbournes, though opinion was massively divided on Tony.
What do you think? Who should stay and go in these soaps, or in Emmerdale, Neighbours, Home and Away or The Archers? Comments in the usual place, or pop into the forums and vent your spleen…
Hollyoaks, Channel 4, 6.30pm
EastEnders, BBC One, 7.30pm
Coronation Street, ITV1, 8.30pm
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Coronation Street,
EastEnders,
Hollyoaks,
Soap
Previewing from today, the National Theatre’s big comedy for the Spring/Summer season is Dion Boucicault’s 1841 romp London Assurance. Starring theatre stalwart Simon Russell Beale (no relation to Ian,) you’d think the presence of Celebrity Lesbian Fiona Shaw playing a character called Lady Gay Spanker would be the main attraction here. In fact you should go see it because it’s your last chance to see a sitcom icon live on stage: Richard Briers plays Adolphus Spanker, and the 76-year-old has announced it’s to be his final theatrical role. Briers’ cult TV appearances may have been restricted to a Torchwood cameo of late but admit it, if lowculture had been around in The Good Life’s heyday, half the forum users would have had Tom-flirting-with-Margo avatars. And if that doesn’t convince you, let me reiterate: There’s a character called Lady Gay Spanker. It’s this kind of inspired subtlety that lowculture thrives on.
- London Assurance, Olivier Theatre until June 2nd
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Celebrity lesbians,
Fiona Shaw,
Lady Gay Spanker,
National Theatre,
Richard Briers,
Simon Russell Beale,
Theatre
When he appeared as a guest on Never Mind the Buzzcocks last year, a lot of us here at LC Towers were rather taken with Tom Basden. So you’d think the London debut (running for just two weeks) of his award-winning play Party, in which he also stars, would be an easy recommendation. However this must come with a warning as the production also stars Tim Key, whose name is anathema to the lowculture massive. Personally, I prefer to pretend there are two entirely separate Tim Keys: One who wastes valuable Brooker-scowling time on Newswipe and another who is quite likeable and always nearly falls off his chair on We Need Answers. I choose to believe it’s the latter who will be apppearing in this play. In any case it’s Basden’s script so hopefully that means Key won’t feel the need to stop the action and recite some “poetry.” It’s also got Magda from Lead Balloon in it so go on, give it a go. Oh, and it’s about a bunch of friends who start a political party in their shed, if little things like the plot are of importance to you.
- Party, Arts Theatre until March 13th
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Lead Balloon,
Theatre,
Tim Key,
Tom Basden
Just like buses, you wait ages for a London theatre opening with a lowculture connection then two come along at once. (Actually they came along yesterday but Damages deserves a day to itself.) First we’re in the West End where Kim Cattrall stars in Noel Coward’s Private Lives. Cattrall is of course best known for her iconic role in Police Academy but apparently she was also in some TV show about a load of women or something, so you might have caught her in that. I heard that it was based on the well-loved “Hard Stools” TV ads so it might be worth checking it out? Anyway, joining her onstage is former Spooks star Matthew MacFadyen. Apparently the two became firm friends during rehearsal, which’ll be why Cattrall referred to MacFadyen as “Michael” when she was on Jonathan Ross’ show a couple of weeks back.
Spooks of a different kind with Ghost Stories at the Lyric Hammersmith. Already seen by some LCers during its initial run in Liverpool (they report it’s scary, but in keeping with the hush-hush publicity won’t give any more details) the show is shrouded in secrecy but comes with a health warning for extreme scariness. It’s written and directed by Jeremy Dyson (the “silent” member of The League of Gentlemen) and Andy Nyman (from Lord Charlie Brooker’s Dead Set, although it’s his association with lottery non-predictor Derren Brown that may be more relevant here) who also stars. Just one word of warning to Messrs Dyson and Nyman though: After all the buildup about the amazing scary effects, a sheet with eye-holes cut into it really isn’t going to do the trick.
- Private Lives, Vaudeville Theatre until May 1st
- Ghost Stories, Lyric Hammersmith until April 3rd
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Comedy,
Ghosts,
Jeremy Dyson,
Kim Cattrall,
League of Gentlemen,
Matthew Macfadyen,
Sex and the City,
Spooks,
Theatre
I haven’t been able to get into new Channel 4 import The Good Wife, because whenever I’ve seen it, I’ve spent the time wishing I was watching Damages instead. Thankfully, the long wait for series three is now over, as it arrives on BBC One tonight. The Wednesday scheduling will take some getting used to, mind.
Our third series apparently sees a whole new bunch of supporting characters – I say apparently because given the twists and tricks and timey-wimey messing this show does, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of seeing Walter Kendrick, Clare Maddox or Daniel Purcell again just yet, and I’m pretty hopeful Arthur Frobisher will pop up again.
Ellen isn’t working with Patty and Tom as the series starts, but I’m pretty sure their paths will cross, and it might have something to do with the mysterious Tobin family, whom we’ll be hearing a lot more about over the coming weeks.
The best casting in telly doesn’t disappoint. We had various Academy Award winners, The Wire cast members and Timothy Olyphant last year, and this year we’ve got the likes of Martin Short, Campbell Scott, Madchen Amick and Lily freakin’ Tomlin to enjoy. With it being a new story this series, it hopefully won’t be too alienating for newcomers, who should definitely give this show a whirl, if only so you can share the sadistic pleasure of being tortured by the twists each week that the rest of us experience.
Damages, BBC One, 10.45pm
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BBC One,
Damages
I have a new favourite programme, and it hasn’t even aired yet, but given it involves David Mitchell, Victoria Coren and a guessing game about the news, The Bubble can’t fail as far as I’m concerned.
The premise of the show is that three famous guests are put into a ‘bubble’ of seclusion for a week and when they come out they’re tested on news stories and have to guess which are true and which are false. David Mitchell is our host, whilst Dame Vicky, Frank Skinner and Reginald D Hunter are the first guests. I’m anticipating it’ll be a cross between Mock the Week, Newswipe and Have I Got News For You, and its success will no doubt depend on the panel, but this looks to be a promising start.
The Bubble, BBC Two, 10.00pm
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BBC Two,
David Mitchell,
the bubble,
Victoria Coren
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past six months and haven’t noticed, tonight is the silver anniversary of EastEnders. The Beeb have been showing off a lot about how brilliant it all is, and whilst I have totally loved all the coverage, it does need pointing out that there have been several periods of rubbishness (especially in the mid 2000s) and even its glory days have been punctuated with duff moments (and duff-duff moments. Sorry).
I can’t help thinking that last night’s double wedding would have made for a better live show than tonight’s ‘Who Killed Archie?’ reveal. Weddings are always an event, whereas revealing whodunnit from a list of largely improbable suspects has been an EE staple since the days of Michelle and her babydaddy. I’m also expecting the reveal to be either anti-climactic or a head-scratcher, though if it’s Sean Slater as is rumoured, I won’t be the only one cutting a bitch (by which I mean moaning on Twitter about it). The smart money is on Ben – someone on our forums suggested it months ago and he’s been getting a flurry of votes on the BBC website. Whilst it’d be pretty naff to do another ‘the kid did it’ story so soon after Lauren running over Max, the boy’s been troubled for a long time and Peggy will approve seeing as how he’d have done it for the farmlee.
Or, you know, it could just randomly be Lucas or Jack or someone.
EastEnders, BBC One, 8.00pm
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BBC One,
EastEnders,
soap death,
Soaps
I love Masterchef, and I’m glad it’s back for a new series (though please, please make it a little less formulaic) – but ninety minutes of Masterchef? I fear for my eardrums.
The scheduling of the show seems strange – gone is the traditional five half an hour slots a week (which had become three with an hour on Thursdays last year). This week we have ninety minutes tonight and sixty tomorrow; next week we have sixty minutes on both Wednesday and Thursday but appear to be missing thirty minutes somewhere.
Hopefully the scheduling won’t mean the show loses its appeal as, although it could do with some minor tweaking (letting more than one contestant through when they’re all good, sending them all home when they’re not; new cliches), it’s still one of the most consistently reliable cookery shows out there and with The Restaurant going to hell of late we need to keep all the good shows we can.
Masterchef, BBC One, 8.30pm
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BBC One,
food,
Masterchef
The slightly perplexing new tradition of ‘Schoolies week’ (why, in many generations of Ramsay St teens has this never been mentioned before?) continues in Neighbours this week, and Donna, fed up of Ringo being a bit of a dick who doesn’t have any purpose whatsoever on the show right now, gets friendly with this new boy in today’s episode.
For those of you that are good at keeping spoiler-free (and haven’t read the TV guides this week) I won’t tell you who he is but let’s just say the show’s random casting generator strikes again, and some viewers may notice that there’s also a bit of good old fashioned Neighbours wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff going on.
Neighbours, Five, 1.45pm and 5.30pm
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Five,
neighbours,
Soaps
