The Anti-Smoking Ban(natyne)

FAGS!Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Tobacco, BBC Two, 9.00pm

Learning from his and Peter Jones’ past attempts to break out of Dragon’s Den into cancelled ITV shows made of fail, Duncan Bannatyne has taken the ’serious’ tack for his latest endeavour, Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Tobacco which certainly sounds a lot more promising than Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway.

In this one-off documentary, he takes on the campaigning mantle from the likes of Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall, Jamie Oliver, and, er, Alexa Chung as he investigates the activities of large western tobacco firms in Africa. He is particularly concerned with the way they sell tobacco to children and teenagers there.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Bannatyne from watching Dragon’s Den, it’s that he gets very emotional where children are concerned (witness his crying at the thought of the iTeddy, a kind of Teddy Ruxspin redux, as it would stop parents reading to kids; and his love of kiddie dance troupe Razzamatazz).

Whether his campaign takes off as well as Hugh F-W’s Chicken Out! campaign I sadly doubt, but it should be well worth an hour of your time and consideration.

Children of Time

YOOF! How TV Changed Britain, Channel 4, 8.00pm

On TV tonight, we say hello to old friends, come face to face with villains we’d long hoped were lost and worry about the future of the universe as we know it, and we get prepared to hide behind the sofa in fright. Yes, that’s right, How TV Changed Britain looks at yoof TV.

This strand has moved timeslot which suggests it’s not been performing as well as Channel 4 hoped, which would be a shame, because it’s been really interesting and entertaining. Tonight’s offering should be particularly enjoyable as it mixes classic, enduring series such Grange Hill with is-it-actually-amazing-or-utterly-terrible telly like The Word and probably brings us bang up to date with the horror of the T4 presenters.

It should definitely be worth a look, even if some of the territory covered here has already been talking-headed to death on the likes of I Love The 70s/80s/90s.

Prepare to be reunited with the likes of Normski, Terry Christian, Amanda de Cadanet, Jools Holland, Tucker Jenkins and Spuggie from Byker Grove (these are guesses, I haven’t seen the show yet), and to see such well-worn clips as that bloke snogging the granny on The Word and Zammo in the toilet with Roland in Grange Hill (and hopefully not Danny Kendall dead in Mr Bronson’s car, which gave me nightmares for ages afterwards).

And yes, I know there’s also some other show on tonight which will be much more fun - I can’t wait - but we’ve previewed that a lot this series and we’ll be gibbering like little excited puppies about its finale next Saturday…

Jew Wanna Be My Baby?

ORTHODOX! Jews, BBC Four, 9.00pm

I’m involved in researching programmes about religion and spirituality at the moment, and thus I thought I would be the only lowculture user particularly interested in BBC Four’s new series, Jews. However, when discussing the dearth of interesting things to write about in the LC chatroom on Monday night, several of the other users implored me to write about this, because they think it’s great. I am therefore happy to oblige.

This is the second of a three-part series, but don’t worry about dipping in here, as each episode stands alone and it’s BBC Four, so chance are they’ll show them all again a few times over the coming months. The series centres on the Orthodox community in the North of London, who normally avoid the media, so it is something of a coup for the makers to get this level of access.

The series explores their religious and cultural practices to some degree, but it’s really about the different people and their individual stories, as all good reality shows and documentaries are. Last week’s episode featured Samuel (above), who was released back into the Orthodox community after being imprisoned for drug trafficking. This week’s looks at the lives of the younger generations of the Jewish community and how the legacy of the Holocaust has shaped their lives and upbringing.

If that all sounds a bit heavy and off-putting, don’t worry. If last week’s episode was anything to go by, this is a bunch of people who have enough good spirit and humour to make it a worthwhile watch.

Dance magic dance

WALTZ! Mad Hot Ballroom, More 4, 10.00pm

True Stories is one of the best-kept secrets of the TV schedules (see also BBC Four’s Storyville). Every week it shows a new documentary film, and it’s always worth keeping an eye on the schedules, because I can guarantee you that there’ll be something that you love in this strand on a pretty regular basis. Sometimes the films are specially commissioned, sometimes they are extensions of films shown on Channel 4, but often they have been films previously on cinema release. The films in this strand come from all over the world, which is also nice.

The last time we previewed the strand here, More 4 got some of its best ratings ever. Which of course was all down to us, so I thought we’d help boost their ratings again tonight.

Mad Hot Ballroom is a factual feature film about children from some of the rougher areas of New York learning ballroom dancing. So it’s kind of Sister Act 2 meets Strictly Come Dancing which should make it rather ace indeed, and hopefully will erase the spectre of that ITV children’s dancing thing with Ray Quinn firmly from your mind.

This is one of those films for those who like a good old ‘transformation’ story and want some feel-good, heartwarming fun. Plus, you can place yourself in the role of Arlene, Bruno, Craig and head judge Len and give the kids scores from the comfort of your seat. What more could you want from a Tuesday night?

Tribal Gathering

CULTURE SHOCK!Tribal Wives, BBC Two, 9.00pm

Tribal Wives was filmed in late 2006, and was intended to be shown off the back of Ray Mears’ Tribe at some point in 2007. However, it was put on the back burner and it’s only being shown now.

Part reality, part travelogue, and part ‘life-swap’, this series builds on formats such as Wife Swap, Tribe, The Convent and The Beginner’s Guide To…. The premise is simple: six British women (one a week) visiting a different tribe and spending weeks living their lifestyle and practising their customs. Previews have been divided on whether this series, and indeed all series of this type, is moving and human, or somewhat exploitative and patronising. The series producers have promised to give the tribal women a voice, though, which is somewhat unusual.

Tonight’s episode sees Sass from Oxford going to visit the Kuna tribe in Panama. Later episodes will visit places including Ethiopia, Papua New Guinea and Ecuador.

Expect to see conflict, challenge, warmth and that all-important reality show word, ‘journey’.

Slim pickings

THIN! Extreme: Skinny Celebrity Mums 2, Living, 8.00pm

I have my suspicions that this may well be the worst week for television since records began, at least in terms of there being new, interesting things to write about. Because frankly, there is bugger all on this week unless you’re particularly interested in sport, which I am not. Said paucity of interesting television is demonstrated by the fact that today’s pick is Extreme: Skinny Celebrity Mums 2 - no offence to anyone involved in the making of this clearly fine programme, obviously, but it is perhaps just a smidge below our usual standards for a daily highlight.

The main reason for it featuring here at all is the fact that it’s being presented by Lisa Scott-Lee, and it’s rather nice to see her still working and keeping herself in the public eye, especially in light of the rest of steps being fairly invisible these days, unless you count Claire letting us in on her diet secrets in a magazine which might have been Now or might have been OK! (Unfortunately I wasn’t paying attention, but in my defence I didn’t really think it was the sort of thing I’d ever need to refer back to) - although on researching that last note, I learned that Claire will in fact be appearing on the show to talk to Lisa about baby weight and associated things, so that’s quite exciting. A reunion! Maybe they’ll dance.

So, yes, essentially this programme looks at the current trend for celebrity mums to shed all their post-baby weight at a frankly alarming rate of knots in order to get themselves back in the papers looking skinny and gorgeous (or skinny, at least), and wondering if it’s necessarily a good idea for them to be doing that. Roving reporter Lisa Scott-Lee is on the case, and I’m sure groundbreaking discoveries will be made.

The revolution will be televised

TELLY! How Television Changed Britain, Channel 4, 8.00pm

Television. Where would we be without it? There would be no iPlayer, no YouTube, no Saturday night slutbagging and, unthinkably, no lowculture. So we owe it a lot of gratitude. Channel 4 thinks so, too, which is why it has dedicated a whole six week run to exploring the impact television has had on us, in How Television Changed Britain.

Each of the six episodes has a theme, and the series will look at the impact those types of programming have had on aspects of British life. It does all sound a bit BBC Four (which is not a criticism, we love BBC Four here) but I expect it will also have more than a touch of The 100 Best… and I Love The…. about it.

In future weeks we will be getting property, fame (reality TV and so on), IQ (quiz shows), teens and, er, women. Tonight’s opener is Cop Shows. It looks at how programmes such as The Bill, The Sweeney, Z Cars (and here I must throw in the obligatory mention of my Dad being in that show) and Life on Mars changed the way we think about police and their work. The Thin Blue Line and Heartbeat are not included, unsurprisingly (nor, shockingly, is Juliet Bravo).

Dressed for Success?

PAGEANTRY! Painted Babies Growing Up, BBC Four, 9.00pm

BBC Four’s excellent Childhood season continues tonight with Painted Babies Growing Up, a follow-up doc to 1996’s Painted Babies. The original followed two five year old girls and their families, as the girls competed in Little Miss Sunshine style beauty pageants. Tonight sees the girls approaching eighteen and explores what they are doing now, and how their beauty pageant experiences have shaped them.

Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the original, as this, much like BBC Four’s also excellent What Happened Next, is likely to feature plenty of footage from it so you can compare and contrast. (It’s also on the Tube of You, mind) Because it’s on BBC Four it will hopefully be less sensational and more thoughtful than it might be on certain other channels, and former child pageant stars is certainly an intriguing topipc, considering how controversial the pageants themselves are.

If you haven’t been watching the Childhood season so far, may I also commend to you the re-runs of this year’s Child of Our Time and My New Best Friend, which focuses on children from completely different contexts to each other as they move from primary to secondary school. The season may not be as fun as the Children’s TV on Trial season, but it is enlightening, and also kind of cute for those that aren’t repelled at the sight of small people. Oh, and a week today they are showing A Revolution in Childhood in which Tanya Byron gets to judge the nation with disdain, her seemingly favourite pasttime.

Auto erotica

SEX! My Car is My Lover: Strangelove, Five, 10.00pm

I’m hugely disappointed that Five missed the trick of using Elastica’s ‘Car Song’ in the trailers for this, given all the lyrics within about being aroused by your motor (though, in fairness, that song is actually about having sex with another person in/on your car, not trying to sex the car itself), but then I suppose when you have a title like “My Car is My Lover”, your programme probably sells itself.

Anyway, in keeping with the rest of tonight’s viewing, it’s a fairly safe assumption that Mary Whitehouse would not approve of this programme at all, focusing as it does on a group of “mechaphiles” - people who are sexually attracted to their cars. It’s not my place to judge, of course, but I find myself troubled by the issue of consent and whether these poor innocent cars are being sexually assaulted on a regular basis.

Then again, perhaps the answer will lie in tonight’s show, and we’ll be treated to a car confessional detailing the totally reciprocated romantic feelings between car and owner. I’m not wholly confident of that, mind. But I am extremely intrigued as to the - pardon the pun - mechanics of these particular relationships, so against my better judgement I’d be tuning in.

Heavy Petting

FREAKY! The World’s Fattest Pet and Me, Channel 4, 10.00pm

Over the past couple of weeks, a curious little series has been running on Channel 4. We’ve already seen The World’s Tallest Woman and Me and The World’s Smallest Man and Me and tonight our human curiosity series continues with, umm, The World’s Fattest Pet and Me. Presumably this will be just as much about the owners (or more so) as the pets, just as the previous two episodes were as much about the entourages that surrounded the subjects as the subjects themselves.

This series treads a fine line between investigative human interest story and freakshow, and just about emerges as the former, much like the similar Louis Theroux programmes. Tonight’s may well be the latter, though, as tall women and short men are created that way by DNA and therefore are not ‘freaky’. Fat pets? Maybe DNA plays a part, too, but I suspect for a lot of them it will be due to eating pies and not going for many walkies. Or maybe I’m just fat-pet-ist. We’ll see.

Mark Dolan is a likeable host, if sometimes flummoxed by the bizarre situations and people he meets. And he reminds me a lot of LC’s very own Steven Perkins. Don’t believe me? Watch and see (well, those of you that know Steven). And then deride me for being completely wrong about that for the rest of the week…

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