Streepmate

MUSICAL! Abba: The Mamma Mia! Story, ITV1, 9.00pm

I refuse to believe there is a single person on Earth who is not champing at the bit waiting to see Mamma Mia! in the cinema. (Please note: this is hyperbole, please do not take it as an invitation to prove me wrong in the comments box.) Meryl Streep singing Abba? With Julie Walters, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Christina Baranski and Amanda “so if you’re from Africa, why are you white?” Seyfried? And the fit one from The History Boys thrown into the bargain? I’ve given up pretending that I’m not giddily excited by the prospect, and am in fact a mere hair’s breadth away from accosting total strangers in the street to tell them about it.

So to get us all in the mood, here’s a glorified trailer from the lovely folks at ITV, which is ostensibly a look at the genesis of the musical based on the hit songs of Abba, but is really just an extended excuse to remind us all that the film is out and that we should all go and see it. And there’s not anything I can really add to that, so here’s the lovely Amanda Seyfried - whom I fanboy unashamedly - singing ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)’ and making my life in the process.

Amazing.

Dance magic dance

WALTZ! Mad Hot Ballroom, More 4, 10.00pm

True Stories is one of the best-kept secrets of the TV schedules (see also BBC Four’s Storyville). Every week it shows a new documentary film, and it’s always worth keeping an eye on the schedules, because I can guarantee you that there’ll be something that you love in this strand on a pretty regular basis. Sometimes the films are specially commissioned, sometimes they are extensions of films shown on Channel 4, but often they have been films previously on cinema release. The films in this strand come from all over the world, which is also nice.

The last time we previewed the strand here, More 4 got some of its best ratings ever. Which of course was all down to us, so I thought we’d help boost their ratings again tonight.

Mad Hot Ballroom is a factual feature film about children from some of the rougher areas of New York learning ballroom dancing. So it’s kind of Sister Act 2 meets Strictly Come Dancing which should make it rather ace indeed, and hopefully will erase the spectre of that ITV children’s dancing thing with Ray Quinn firmly from your mind.

This is one of those films for those who like a good old ‘transformation’ story and want some feel-good, heartwarming fun. Plus, you can place yourself in the role of Arlene, Bruno, Craig and head judge Len and give the kids scores from the comfort of your seat. What more could you want from a Tuesday night?

The Kids are Alright

TEENAGE!Kidulthood, BBC Three, 11.45pm

Warning: Kidulthood may have the same effect on you as Skins (i.e. make you feel old and wonder why your youth wasn’t anything like that). The film, which was shown last night, but is repeated again tonight for good measure focuses on a group of teenagers in London as they negotiate the minefields of life, love, sex, drugs, drink, violence and very little schooling. In that respect it is very much like Skins (and watch out for a cameo from one of that show’s stars) but in other ways it is quite different. The kids here are, for the most part, council-estate dwelling tough kids rather than the preened middle-class Bristolians we see in the E4 show.

There isn’t a plot to this film as such, more several different story strands, focussing on the dilemmas of the different teens. Some strands work well, others leave you feeling they are a film representation of being a teenager but have very little resemblance to real life. The whole thing is soundtracked well, although being about twice the age of the target market, perhaps me liking the soundtrack is a bad sign.

The main characters are allegedly around 15, but all look at least a couple of years older. This isn’t so bad; as most of us are used to seeing slightly older actors playing young characters. However, writer Noel Clarke plays Sam, who is allegedly in the sixth form. Clarke was 30 when he made this film, and whilst he looks somewhat younger than his age, he certainly doesn’t look young enough to be at school, which slightly jars. They perhaps should have made Sam slightly older, or cast another actor. That said, Clarke is a good actor (and writer) and does mean and menacing quite well, in a role that’s a million miles away from Doctor Who’s Mickey.

The film rips along at a good pace, and doesn’t outstay its welcome, with an ending that will leave you thinking ‘they can’t end it like that’. Handily, a sequel, Adulthood is released on Friday, so you won’t have to wait too long to find out what happens. Oh, and it’s set six years after the first film (released in 2006), so the cast will probably look much closer to their characters’ ages. And you’ll probably feel less like a pensioner when watching it.

Cowboy Style

BUMMING! Brokeback Mountain, Channel 4, 9.00pm

Ang Lee’s 2005 Oscar-winner (but not for best film, booo!), Brokeback Mountain makes its terrestrial debut tonight. If you’ve lived under a rock for the past three years, the film tells the tale of Jack and Ennis, played by Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. They are two ranch-workers (or ‘cowboys’ as everyone terms them) who meet on a job and fall in lust and love. They then start a long-running affair, sneaking off from their long suffering wives (Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway) for ‘fishing trips’.

It may sound like there isn’t much to it, but the simplicity of the premise is one of the reasons why it works so well. It’s set primarily in the 1960s in sexually repressed areas of America - the secrecy the men need to employ, and the treatment we are shown of other gay men is a stark reminder of how things were so different, not so long ago.

Why else does the film work so well? Well, the scenery helps. Two attractive young men bumming may also be a bit of a reason. But it also works on the strength of the performances. There are a few other minor characters in it, but it is primarily carried on the shoulders of its four young leads, who manage well with some difficult material (although Anne Hathaway’s ageing hair and make-up is rather less than convincing). Heath Ledger, in particular, shines, in what was probably the best performance of his life (unless The Dark Knight surpasses it, which certainly looks like a possibility).

A moving, though not-especially-cheerful film, it will be made all the more poignant following Ledger’s death. Is it a perfect film? No. Was it the best film of 2005? Debatable. Was it better than Crash? Undoubtedly.

Why the BAFTAs will be ace this year

GLITZY!The British Academy Film Awards, BBC1, 10pm

» With the writers’ strike not yet having reached a conclusion, it is possible (unlikely, but possible) that the Oscars will not go ahead, thus making this THE film industry ceremony to be at in 2008.
» We liked a lot of the films we saw in 2007.
» Jonathan Ross is presenting, and he always does this kind of thing well.
» Being British, you get a better (or at least more British, older, less airbrushed) class of celebrity at this event than at the American ceremonies.
» Someone British will win something. Which will help us feel all self-satisfied and provide the papers with someone to coo over for a few days.
» The acceptance speeches are usually shorter than at the Oscars.
» We like everything we have seen that has been nominated (although we haven’t seen everything on the lists) so we don’t mind who or what wins.
» It has the Rising Star award that always features people who have had careers for several years, giving the audience something to complain at the screen about and thus feel superior.
» You can play ’spot the celebrity’ bingo. First to spot Dame Judi Dench, Dame Helen Mirren, Dame Myleene Klass, Dame John Barrowman and Dame Jane Asher wins.

Remember my name

HIGH SCHOOL! Ten Things I Hate About You, Sky Movies Comedy, 8pm
HI-JINKS! A Knight’s Tale, FilmFour, 9pm

Like many of you, we were saddened to hear of the death of Heath Ledger last month. Tonight the movie channels are giving you a couple of opportunities to remember him with two of his most-loved films (and we wouldn’t be surprised if Brokeback Mountain makes an appearance soon, either). Rather rubbishly, they are on at the same time, though, so you may have to choose.

Ten Things I Hate About You is a cut above your standard high-school fare. Based on The Taming of the Shrew, it follows the fortunes of sisters Kat and Bianca and the attempts of boys to woo them. It may sound a bit dull, but you’d be wrong. It’s full of laughs, and boasts a great cast, including Ledger, Julia Stiles and the wondrous Alison Janney. We rewatched it just last week and loved it muchly all over again. Unfortunately for many of us, it’s on Sky…

However, A Knight’s Tale is on the more widely-available FilmFour. Hurrah! The film may be set in medieval times but it features all sorts of nonsense contemporary touches such as a soundtrack full of 20th and 21st century tunes. It’s incredibly silly, but also very, very entertaining.

Should you require more, ITV1 are also showing Ned Kelly tomorrow night at 11:55pm.

RIP Heath, we’ll miss you.

Johnny be Good

LAVERNE! The Culture Show, BBC2, 7:20pm

There really isn’t much happening tonight that we haven’t previewed in recent weeks. So thank goodness, then, for a ‘new series’ (surely it was only a few weeks since the last one finished?) of The Culture Show. We do like this show, which manages to marry lowculture and highculture most successfully, and always teaches us something we didn’t know before.

Lauren Laverne is back hosting, following the shortest maternity leave since Myleene’s, and still shows no signs of reforming Kenickie (for shame). She’s a nice, warm, funny, engaging host for this, even if we do kind of prefer Verity Sharp. Still, as long as the annoying Zina Saro-Wiwa never gets the main gig, we’ll be happy. Mark Kermode also returns, and we are intrigued to see whether his quiff can get even higher.

Tonight’s episode features Sons and Daughters, Toby Young, Simon Pegg, The Coen Brothers, Chris Rock, a little architecture piece and, the key selling point (for us anyway), Johnny Depp AND Tim Burton, who will be talking about Sweeney Todd, a film that has had the forum users squeeing for months.

If you fancy cleansing your brain after The One and Only, then this could be just the ticket. We can pretty much guarantee no terrible Kylie imitators who sing the songs incorrectly will be featured.

Ring out the old, bring in the new

ANOTHER YEAR OVER! New Year’s Eve telly

So, 2007, then. The year that brought us two Big Brother race rows, Any Dream Will Do, Harry Potter film 5 and book 7, floods, an actually good remake in the form of Hairspray, a new Prime Minister, Heroes, LOLyoaks, McDean, Ugly Betty, Martha Jones, Steven Beale, data loss by the government, High School Musical 2, David Platt, the LC chatroom, the rise of misplaced apostrophes, Facebook for the masses, John Simm as The Master, X, Gavin and Stacey (and also Max and Stacey… ewww), Britney’s shaved head, Tangled Up, King Biggins, Umbrella, Enchanted, Same Difference, Big Evva, Sarah Jane Adventures, Stardust and THAT Indy article.

So, how are our TV schedulers sending this year out? Well, five is basically not bothering, with only the film version of Oliver! at 4:20pm of any note - and with their recent mini-series and the upcoming I’d Do Anything, the Beeb has missed a trick by not getting this one. They don’t have any show whatsoever to mark midnight. Channel Four are doing little better. They also fail to have anything happening over midnight, although they have a Monty Python evening beginning at 8. However, they do up the ante somewhat with a new series of LC fave Come Dine With Me at the ridiculous hour of 4:55pm, so you best start remembering to set those videos/PVRs/Sky+’s when you go back to work…

ITV1 also has little on offer, although there is a double bill of Coronation Street at 7:30 and 8:30pm, where we see if Liz McDonald will marry Tricky Dicky off of EastEnders. The channel sees the new year in with a Take That and Friends at the O2 Arena at 11:15pm, which is a bit odd, but hey. They then try and grab Channel 4’s audience with Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life at 12:45 am, and you can cleanse your mind of images of Hollyoaks‘ Rubbish Tranny in fishnets with a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at 2:40am.

As is usually the case with big occasions, BBC1 has it all in the bag tonight, with a new series of Celebrity Mastermind at 6:30pm, followed by Spice Girls: Giving You Everything at 7, in which all five give interviews about their rise, their break-up, their fame and their reunion. Oh, and Geri cries. The 8pm episode of EastEnders ensures that Kevin Wicks (and thus half of Walford) will not be having a very happy new year, then at 8:35 we have The Vicar of Dibley Story which is basically a talking-heads/clip show thing and we think it was on last year, but what the hey.

As for the big ’see in the new year’ shows, we have The Big Finish at 9:40, where Graham Norton and a bunch of celebs go over the year’s events in much the same way Clive James always used to do, presumably in the format of the Bigger Picture which we were the only people who liked. Then you should turn over to BBC2 at 11:10 for Jools‘ Annual Hootenanny with Paul McCartney, Kate Nash, Kaiser Chiefs and KYLIE MINOGUE OBE. Yes, that’s KYLIE. KYLIE HOO(TENANNY). BBC1 is also doing some actual rubbishy see-in-the-new-year thing at 11:10. Myleene Klass, naturally, will be there. No word on the Barrowman yet, but fear not, you can always watch this if you want to see out 2007 in the presence of its two most omnipresent personalities:

So long, 2007! And to show we still love our Scottish friends despite Leon, let’s all join hands and sing: ‘Should auld acquaintance be forgot….’

Anyway, enough of that, we have a whole new year to be getting on with, and our dear telly schedulers are heralding this new era with… well, loads of very old movies, in fact, the same ones that they show on every New Year’s Day, although they are all packed with LC icons: Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 12:20pm, BBC1, Mary Poppins, 4:05pm, ITV1, Singin‘ in the Rain, 3:10p, Channel 5, and, ummm, Sister Act 2, 3:25pm, BBC1. BBC1 also sneaks in a repeat of Kylie Who at 2:15pm.
Pink Name. There is are two newish films on today - BBC2 premieres Finding Neverland at 5:30pm, and Channel 4 premieres Fantastic Four at 8:10pm, and we never got round to seeing these at the pictures, so that will be nice.

But there are three main events tonight, two of which clash, so make sure you are armed with Channel 4+1, 4OD or BBC iPlayer to avoid heartache. The first big offering of the evening is Sense and Sensibility on BBC1 at 9:10pm. You may think you have seen versions of this before, and you’d be right, but, like Dickens, it seems you can never have too many versions of Austen on the telly. This is followed by the first episode in the new series of Jam and Jerusalem. Now, this series divided people first time round, and we must admit, it took us a few episodes to get into it, but we soon grew to love the characters (played by the best ensemble of British female talent until, and since, Cranford, with David Mitchell and one or two other men cropping up) and the setting. Think of it less as a full-on sitcom and more as a gently funny drama and you’ll love it, we promise. Well, you might, anyway. Oh, and just to warn you, episode two is this Friday. We will remind you of this at the time.

The other big hitter, which Paul gave you a teaser of a few weeks ago, is the opener of series 5 of Shameless. Now, series four was pretty below-par, but we hold out higher hopes for this one, with the promises of Lilian’s knocking shop, Ian bumming Carl’s teacher, Mimi having weight issues, and, er, a beach. In tonight’s episode, Frank is told he only has days to live, and presumably hilarious high jinks ensue. Unfortunately Monica is still around, but fortunately, so is Norma. And who knows, maybe Monica will decide to bugger off again soon. We can hope.

Here are the first fruits of 2008, then. We’ll be with you for the rest of it: Mistresses, Big Brother, Dancing on Ice, Torchwood, Doctor Who, Rubbish Tranny getting his comeuppance (we can hope), Strictly Come Dancing, The X Factor, The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2008, and maybe even The Olympics if we get really over-excited.

Happy New Year, lowculture!