Holding out for Heroes

FINALE! Heroes, BBC Two, 9.00pm

Haters to the left, as I believe they say on the internet; I enjoyed season two of Heroes, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Sure, I’ll admit that it had its faults: Hiro’s adventures in ancient Japan grew tedious very quickly, the accents in the “Cork, Ireland” segments were appalling, the addition of Maya and Alejandro to the cast was well-intentioned but probably ill-advised, the special effects budget appeared at times to be whatever spare change Tim Kring had in his back pocket, some genius decided to waste the fantastic chemistry between Adrian Pasdar and Milo Ventimiglia by separating them for pretty much the entire season…wait, this is supposed to be me saying why I liked the second season, isn’t it?

Fine, I have reasons for that too: Kristen Bell, David Anders and Dana Davis were all excellent additions to the cast, the virus storyline was gripping once it got going, Angela Petrelli continued her campaign to become the most awesome matriarch in the history of television, Milo Ventimiglia took his shirt off a lot, and Niki punched Mohinder in the face. (I try to like Mohinder, I really do, but I couldn’t help considering that a touch of fanservice for those of us who have tired of his soporific voiceovers.) More importantly, I think the season was more than the sum of its parts, because even when it was churning out slightly sub-par episodes, it was still incredibly watchable and enabled me to run off and speculate on all manner of conspiracy theories relating to possible future plot developments.

Sadly the season was cut short by the writers’ strike just as it was really started to get its act together, and the writers decided to cut their losses and work on trying to get season three right rather than salvage what was left of season two, which was perhaps a sensible idea under the circumstances. The final episode was teased in America with the line “two Heroes will fall”, so start placing your bets on who’ll carp it before the closing credits. Though of course, on this show, no one stays dead for long anyway, right?

Streepmate

MUSICAL! Abba: The Mamma Mia! Story, ITV1, 9.00pm

I refuse to believe there is a single person on Earth who is not champing at the bit waiting to see Mamma Mia! in the cinema. (Please note: this is hyperbole, please do not take it as an invitation to prove me wrong in the comments box.) Meryl Streep singing Abba? With Julie Walters, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Christina Baranski and Amanda “so if you’re from Africa, why are you white?” Seyfried? And the fit one from The History Boys thrown into the bargain? I’ve given up pretending that I’m not giddily excited by the prospect, and am in fact a mere hair’s breadth away from accosting total strangers in the street to tell them about it.

So to get us all in the mood, here’s a glorified trailer from the lovely folks at ITV, which is ostensibly a look at the genesis of the musical based on the hit songs of Abba, but is really just an extended excuse to remind us all that the film is out and that we should all go and see it. And there’s not anything I can really add to that, so here’s the lovely Amanda Seyfried - whom I fanboy unashamedly - singing ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)’ and making my life in the process.

Amazing.

If you can’t stand the heat

KITCHEN! Celebrity Masterchef, BBC Two, 8.00pm

It’s been a few weeks since Great British Menu vacated our screens, so it’s definitely time for another daily cookery challenge, no? Be warned, though, the new series of Celebrity Masterchef isn’t on at 6.30pm on BBC Two, it’s on at 8pm on BBC One. And because of the tennis, expect it to jump about a bit, with some episodes an hour, and some half an hour. Oh, and because of the tennis, it’s not on every day at present, so get your highlighter pen accquainted with your favourite TV listings mag.

For those that haven’t seen it before, it’s a very simple format. Three celebrities cook three sets of food: one from a bag of ‘mystery ingredients’, one in a restaurant, and one two-course meal of their choosing. The inner goes through into the semi finals, and so on, until someone wins. Previous winners include Matt Dawson (grr) and Nadia Sawalha (hurrah!).

This series there is a mixed bag of celebrities taking part, from the reality stalwarts (Denise Lewis, Andi Peters, Christopher Parker), to the rather rubbish (Mick from Brookside, some bloke from The Bill), to the ruddy brilliant (Claire Richards, Michael Buerk, Kaye Adams).

Who will be the first to make a chocolate fondant though…?

The Anti-Smoking Ban(natyne)

FAGS!Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Tobacco, BBC Two, 9.00pm

Learning from his and Peter Jones’ past attempts to break out of Dragon’s Den into cancelled ITV shows made of fail, Duncan Bannatyne has taken the ’serious’ tack for his latest endeavour, Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Tobacco which certainly sounds a lot more promising than Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway.

In this one-off documentary, he takes on the campaigning mantle from the likes of Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall, Jamie Oliver, and, er, Alexa Chung as he investigates the activities of large western tobacco firms in Africa. He is particularly concerned with the way they sell tobacco to children and teenagers there.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Bannatyne from watching Dragon’s Den, it’s that he gets very emotional where children are concerned (witness his crying at the thought of the iTeddy, a kind of Teddy Ruxspin redux, as it would stop parents reading to kids; and his love of kiddie dance troupe Razzamatazz).

Whether his campaign takes off as well as Hugh F-W’s Chicken Out! campaign I sadly doubt, but it should be well worth an hour of your time and consideration.

Steel City Blues

SHEFFIELD!Jarvis Cocker’s Musical Map of Sheffield, Radio 2, 10.30pm

We don’t often preview radio here, but every now and then, a little (potential) gem stands out. Tonight sees one of those, as Jarvis Cocker takes us on a musical tour of his home city (and mine - well my adopted home, anyway) of Sheffield.

Now, Sheffield may not have the prestige of Manchester or London as a hotbed of musical energy, but lots of amazing acts have come from the city, including ABC, Pulp, Richard Hawley, The Arctic Monkeys, Cabaret Voltaire, The Longpigs, bits of Moloko (sort of), Heaven 17, Reverend and the Makers, The Long Blondes and The Human League (whose first EVER gig was held at the place I work, fact fans). The city’s trade is essentially in cheeky pop-synth-indie-dance with a wry sense of humour and it’s something worth celebrating, especially as many of these acts have influenced some of the indie/dance/pop we have today.

Cocker himself is always a welcome presence on telly and radio, and you could do a lot worse than give this hour-long show a whirl. Bonus Sheffield bingo points if he mentions Henderson’s Relish, WARP records, the Peace Gardens, Threads or the Kellvin flats.

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