LOWCULTURE TELEVISION REVIEW OF THE YEAR
Well this year was, erm, fun? Television wise anyway. We started of with Professor Magwitch doing a turn as an annoying woman banging on about her lost child after billions of people died in Survivors. The show also starred him out of Hotel Babylon, Martha Jones and her who was in Demons. Which was also quite shit. Despite the allure of Christian Cooke and his well proportioned anatomy (more on that later).
You’d be forgiven for thinking that this being about the best and worse television shows of 2009 that it might be in some sort of linear order. You’d be wrong. Mostly because I have the memory of a fish, but also because I have the memory of a fish.
In any case, despite this being lowculture, we do like a bit of high culture now and again, so while Gail Trimble was causing a stir on University Challenge with everyone else with her timelord-style mind and Deirdre Rachid glasses, it was Simon Spiro from Dame Vicky Coren’s Only Connect that dampened a few seats here and there. Mostly there.
The Supersizers Eat...
They should have been watching Countdown really, at their age. Of course it’s not the same without poor Carol, who was ousted after being asked to take a 90% pay cut, and when she refused, replaced by some young upstart with a bigger IQ and a shorter hemline. And to think Carol gave Countdown the best years of her thighs.
Still it wasn’t all bad on Channel Four day time, Coach Trip made a triumphant return after three years and brought us highlights such as Tom Judge, the Coach Trip Mafia and Tom Judge’s behind. Which he liked showing off to all and sundry during his 15 minutes.
Nudity did seem to define a few shows in 2009, most of all Trinity, the much hyped ITV2 show starring Charles Dance, Claire Skinner and Christian Cooke. Dubbed the British Gossip Girl, mostly by optimistic publicists and those without the five senses. The best episode of this series was the first one in which Christian Cooke was mostly naked. Fulfilling the dreams of many a lowculturites, who then, like the rest of the country, didn’t watch another episode.
Unlike the absolutely fabulously amazing fiercely fantastic five hours of utter televisual brilliance that was Torchwood: Children of Earth. A five night event that eclipsed every other drama that the BBC had shown for years. And it made me cry. Ianto Jones. *sobs*.
Just like the Doctor Who specials. There was no series this year, on account of David Tennant doing a bit of Bill Shakespeare but the specials more than made up for it. In particular Lindsay Duncan as Adelaide Brooke in Waters of Mars was sublime and it set the Doctor up for his final battle perfectly.
While the Doctor was traveling the universe and conquering time, vampires were busy conquering the hearts and minds of humans everywhere through the medium of Twilight but most of all True Blood which finally made its way to the UK. Honestly, can Edward Cullen really compete with Eric Northman? (No is the answer if you must know).
Keeping with the supernatural theme, Being Human delighted us each week with Russell Tovey, Leonora Crichtlow and the quite attractive Aidan Turner playing the werewolf, ghost and vampire sharing a flat in Bristol. It’s gone some way to redeeming Bristol after the new series of Skins. Like I said only some way. Merlin also returned and got gayer by the episode, but sadly Richard Wilson’s “SORCERY!” didn’t make a repeat appearance.
Over on the ‘reality’ front, we saw the final appearance of Dame Margaret ‘Edinburgh isn’t what it used to be’ Mountford on The Apprentice, and then side-gobbed loser went on to present Five’s version of The One Show with Melinda Messenger and Ian Wright. As if one wasn’t enough. Kirstie Allsopp not satisfied with finding other people houses, decided to make one of her own in Kirstie’s Homemade Home, by way of craftsman from ye olde days, when in reality she obviously just wanted to nip to IKEA with a transit van and swipe the plastic, but in these recession heavy times, that’s a no-no.
We were also treated to the penultimate series of Big Brother, and thankfully have not been bothered by that shower of contestants since. In fact 2009 really is the year that reality shows died a slow death. The good ones survive, but the rest just seemed far too long, both in the tooth and in duration.
Comedy-wise, it has been slim pickings, but for me, the two highlights of the year come from ITV3’s Ladies of Letters at the start of the year and BBC2’s Miranda at the end. The ladies deserved a primetime ITV1 spot with their refreshingly witty comedy with not an expletive in sight. (Thank fuck.) Miranda on the other hand, did have the occasional swear word, but it was the most hilarious way to spend a Tuesday night in years. Loaded with retro charm and a formidable cast (Patricia Hodge!) Miranda was one of the most unexpected highlights of the year. Such fun! Happy new year!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Who is the showering man? And which show is he from?!
It’s Alexander Skarsgaard from True Blood. If I get even the slightest excuse to post it, I do. It’s a joy to behold.
I’ll have you know I watched every barely comprehensible episode of Trinity, mostly in the hope of seeing even more of Christian’s flesh. Speaking of which, Mr Coach Trip’s bum is nearly as good as Christian’s, so thank you for alerting us to it.
Thanks! But that isn’t from True Blood… is it?!