FINALE! American Idol, ITV2, 9.00pm
The alleged “most talented season ever” finally draws to a close, and all that remains is to declare the name of the winner. In all honesty, anyone who gives the faintest toss about this show will have already looked it up on the internet by now since the finale aired in America on Wednesday, but for the purpose of this article I’m just going to assume that you’re still in the dark. So, will the victor be obnoxious grunge blowhard David Cook, or nervous mouthbreathing Mormon David Archuleta?
It was pretty obvious from a couple of weeks in that it was going to come down to these two in the end; the two biggest fanbases on the show going head-to-head. It’s just a shame that the whole thing was so anticlimactic: yesterday’s performance show was dull, samey and just a little bit worthy (even though we established earlier in the season that self-confessed “word nerd” David Cook doesn’t know what that means), and I would’ve given anything for Kristy Lee Cook to appear out of nowhere wearing nothing but a US flag and singing ‘My Country, ‘Tis of Thee’. To a handpuppet of Jesus. At least it would’ve livened things up.
Between now and the final announcement, there’s even more filler than usual. Some of this season’s previously eliminated contestants will be popping back to remind us, and more importantly any watching A&R representatives, that they still exist, while Carrie Underwood will also be popping in as The Ghost of Idol past, and we’re promised “the biggest performer in the world” (hint: it’s George Michael). At the end of two hours, you’ll know which David gets to sing the obligatory trite coronation song for real, and we can all go and twiddle our thumbs until The X Factor starts again at the end of August.
