March 2004

Amazing things about Wednesday, March 31: » The zip was patented in America by Whitcomb Judson in 1896. We wished he’d named it after himself – we’d love to be men about town, proudly displaying a judson down the front of our trousers. You wouldn’t want to catch your knackers in a whitcomb, mind you. [...]

{ 0 comments }

Amazing things about Tuesday, March 30: » Hyman Lipman patented the pencil with a rubber on the end in 1858. But that’s . . . that’s obscene! » Yuck! A ball of hair weighing 5lbs 3oz was removed from the stomach of a “compulsive swallower” in South Devon in 1895. » A 58-year-old pub landlord [...]

{ 0 comments }

Spring, when a young man’s fancy turns to hardcore gay pornography. And one new release in particular has caught our eye. Most of you will have heard of The Ring, the spooky movie tale of a haunted videotape – if you watch it, you die within seven days. Enterprising skin flick director Wally West has [...]

{ 0 comments }

Our trashy hearts are breaking at the thought that there are just two episodes of Footballers Wives to go before the end of the series. It’s not all doom and gloom though – on April 14, those crazy Larkhall bitches are back for the sixth series of Bad Girls! As you may remember, the series [...]

{ 0 comments }

It’s the end of an era tonight, as Kath Fox (nee Shaughnessy) hangs up her sensible blue Holby City uniform for the very last time. Incredibly, her reign of terror on the wards of Holby has lasted almost five years. In that time, she has tutted disapprovingly at most of the goings-on, while herself making [...]

{ 0 comments }

You won’t believe they’re showing it on TV. But they are! And don’t miss our Tiny Tanya Turner ratings – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more we approve. » KNOCKWURST! ‘Allo ‘Allo Rene is discovered in the cupboard with a big sausage. » WOBBLY! Celebrity Fit Club, 8pm, ITV1 The urge to scoff [...]

{ 0 comments }

Amazing things about Monday, March 29: » Scientists at the University of California claimed that finger length could hold the key to a person’s sexual orientation. We’re not sure what the length of deviant digits is, but we’re sure we have them. » Our most favourite old-time comedy, Some Like it Hot, opened in Hollywood [...]

{ 0 comments }

You won’t believe they’re showing it on TV. But they are! And don’t miss our new Tiny Tanya Turner ratings – the more Tanyas a show scores, the more we approve. » UNCOMFORTABLE! Nighty Night, 10pm, BBC2 This is quite possibly the nastiest, most thoroughly unpleasant sitcom ever filmed. So it goes without saying that [...]

{ 0 comments }

This lot are Pop! (note the exclamation mark). They are the lovely new pop band from the entire team behind Steps. Their first single, Heaven and Earth, is out next month, and it sounds a bit like Steps, S Club 8, Kelly Llorenna and Lolly having some sort of huge pop knees-up. Hooray!

{ 1 comment }